stupid

yes this is stupid
i kept thinking abt you
MOVE ON!!!
it's been more than 6 mths since we broke-up and never kept in touch
i've tried moving on
getting to know people
meeting new people
but i just don't feel it
what is it?
i want to move on but it's the wrong kinda person
i want to give in but it doesnt feel right
i want to experiment with it but i'm too weak n i know i'll just be hurting myself
there's so many of 'i wants....' when deep down inside and truth of the matter is that, all i really wanted is YOU.
after all that we've been thru,
after all that i've put you thru,
all that u made me endure....
the good, the bad, the ugly....i've always loved you.
maybe what vincent said was true....u've stopped loving me....
i drove you to that decision...
today is tuesday.....i have to start living my own life.

lies

how long has it been now?

how much lower can i stoop?

it's been months since it all ended....

how am i?

i dont know myself anymore.

it's self-destructive they say

should i or should i not care?

what is it?

my heart feels heavy

it's been difficult to breathe

i can't sleep

I CANNOT SLEEP

i've cried

tears just flows everytime i think of you

it's been difficult

i can't stop thinking of you

denial

ego

lies

arrogance

i miss you, sayang

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!

I miss you...

we were so wrong

i've tried, trying to be on my own

i'm so lonely

so very lonely

why did it go wrong

why did we let it

why did you give up

why am i crying so hard now???

WHY???

there's so much to say

there's so much to tell

i miss your warm embrace

i miss your smile, your laughter, your presence

why is this test so harsh

why is it so hard

why am i weak

the pain stabbed deep within me

you're so cold

does it help u, being that way

is it easier for you to let go

how did you just throw it all away

to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

enough of procastinating

enough of dwelling

i'm only human

one day at a time

i'll learn to pacify

i'll learn to lick the wound

but for now....i'll just have to pick myself up somehow...

I can do it!

@nayle