Feeling alright today :)
At the moment...heh..
Here's a little bit of inspiration to make your day fun, fabulous and full of joy.
"The secret of happiness is not doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do.”
—Sir James M. Barrie
Life's about sacrifices right?
And relationship's about give and take?
Compromising?
...hmmmm...
Understanding....and the list goes on...
He puts up with my yoyo emotions, my temper, insecurities and at times uncertainties...
I too should give him some space and let him be when he wants to..
Thing is, it's not that I don't want to...
Tho most of the time he's clean, there are other times that he goes to the extremes.
Like when he said he's gonna be at his relatives, when he actually met up with his ex, in his words to confront her for the things she did to me...well, that was way in the past but...I, myself, dont do such things.
If my ex calls(not that i picked it up. I never do), I let him know.
When my exes msgs...he knows....
I share with him everything.
Coz he's my priority and my partner.
No secrets.
But things that he comes up with...
1. The meeting up with the Ex,
2. Taking pics of random women,
3. Exchanging number with waitress at a pub after he had a lil arguement with me coz I didnt let him go out with a male friend who just broke up with his gf and adamant on meeting my bf alone and bugged him for weeks...if it's that urgent, why can't they just talk over the phone n if it's serious, then meet up? Something fishy, right? It's not like I dont know this friend of his and the gf! Best part was he saved that pinoy's number in his phone under a different name.
How I come to know abt all the above is by CHANCE/RANDOM!!
1. I said, she was telling stuffs to me abt their r'ship, well, the bitch blurted it out of coz!
Think she'll keep the meeting a secret?
Hell NO!
2. Random! Totally random! I was on his computer and wanted to upload my pics on the then friendster.
Lo and behold...pics of women at places where we go to...and yeah a few, right after he just sent me to WORK. Yeah, outside my workplace.
3. He told me to go have a rest and we'll meet the next day and resolve the problem.
Don't think abt the problem and sleep.
He was VERY CALM.
I felt something was amiss...went to his place and he wasnt in.
I dont know why I did this but I called his voicemail and heard a woman's voice....guess what I heard at the background? I heard his voice!
My thoughts was that his friend couldnt find him and called his mobile...and when the part I heard his voice, that's when his friend Joshua found him...
BUT NO!!!!
Here's the thing.
He switched off his phone coz he doesnt want me to keep on calling him.
The pinoy waitress called his number to leave a missed call.
I got her number, I heard her voice.
Over the 8 years with him, I've forgave the things he put me thru.
I put him thru shit too...but I realised I did all those stupid things coz he made me miserable to begin with.
On the onset, he's a nice guy.
But everyone has a flaw.
I live with this and he lives with mine.
But we should work something out that actually makes each other happy, right?
So, he made me mad, I react.
Not the best of ways but I did.
He put up with it(my reaction) and since he has his ways of stepping back or something, I should let him.
I am hesitant coz everytime he stepped back, he did something.
Everytime I wanna trust him, it's ruined.
I mean for the past few days, he said he's with family.
It's been five years since they've been away.
I amidst all the things he put me thru, was with him always.
But for a long holiday and Sunday being Valentines day and he didnt even bother to do anything with me.
I have the right to be sad, right?
The late replies to my messages, him hesitant to call me unless I ask him to coz my calls to him are, well, unanswered.
I was sad.
I was mad.
I was unsure.
But I love him.
Am I stupid?
I don't know.....
Back to sacrifices, give and take, compromising, understanding and perhaps trust.
I'll give this another chance.
I hope he's got good explanations.
If he doesn't it's ok.
I'll just know where I stand.
I'll just better myself, learn to be happy on my own and live life the way I should.
I deserve it.
So for now, I'll be smiling the whole day today coz it's easier than replaying all the bad memories :)
Till the next post!
Thank you for reading :)
